Silent Sentiments
by Fall
Summary: Another fanfic done in a reflecting style. Trowa watches Heero silently, and comes to a conclusion which was a little too late. [3+1, shounen-ai]


Title: Silent Sentiments   
Series: Gundam Wing  
Pairings: 3+1, 1+2   
Category: Monologue, poetry   
Warnings: Angst, mushy poetry, shounen-ai  
Disclaimer: I do not own any and/or all of the GW characters mentioned in any and/or all of my fanfiction. I write because I like to do it, and not to infringe anything.  
Author's Notes: The following poetry was done by yours truly sometime in the 7th grade. My cousin discovered it inside my "school stuff" folder ... and you can just imagine the look on my face when I snatched it away and read it (yeah, something like --"Jeez ... I wrote this back in 7th grade????") ^^;;; (Originally an entry to last year's 1x3/3x1 Silent Passion Fanfic Contest) 

And oh yeah...I really am not sure what category this is (Arabiana told me maybe it's a ballad ... but?), but I was really hit with the HxT muse so I decided to write this anyway ^ ^ This is to date, the *shortest* thing I've ever made in my entire career as a GW fic writer.

Dedications: This one goes to Dimmie-buttercup, to Ari-chan, and to Maymay aka Reverand Maynard, whom I haven't thanked yet for the title of: "The Goddess of Death".  
  
_/--poetry lines--/_

* * *

"Silent Sentiments"   
by Fall

_/ I wish I could confess this to you,   
But you don't care to listen ...   
There's something that separates us,   
Which I think is the reason, why,   
I couldn't show you, nor even bestow   
The feelings that I have, for you. /_

I sit in this corner and watch you, marveling at the very sight I see before me. My eyes takes in the way you look; the way you move; the way you talk; ... and the way you regard me with that piercing gaze I've been accustomed to receive from you. Yet what is this that arrests me? -- I do not know you. No, I don't remember you. And here you are with me, giving me that look I could not fathom.  


... You caught my gaze and inquire the matter, but I just look at you blankly and leave the room. 

I went outside, and sat at the porch steps, asking myself questions I must have asked a thousand times, but still hasn't the least bit of an answer. I loved you before, didn't I? If I did...I could not remember. But how do you say, "I love you" to a person who they say had been your lover but acts as if he weren't? How will I make you understand that I don't remember, but I know I love you?

... I try to approach you, but you seem to walk away from me. You've built a wall between us, which I couldn't get through. It seems you built it...against me. How do I get through if I'm not even sure if you still love me? Farther and farther away from me you become, like the shadows of my past that is beginning to blur.

_/ Love is a cruel thing.   
It defies me, it teases me,   
It makes me suffer, and ill at ease;   
It gives me joy laced with pain --   
That I sometimes wonder if it's worth,   
Or will its outcome be, love's labor lost? /_

Do you still love me? Or what they say we had was just a cruel sort of joke?

Everyone wants a part of you; the only part I ask for myself is to be the one you love. The one who means the world to you. I know I don't deserve it...how could you continue to love someone who forgets you just like that? I wonder now if I hadn't lost my memory...would we still be together? Tell me...I drown in your ocean depths but you never came to my rescue. Is it because you are drowning yourself? Drowning in the longing gaze of violets? 

_/ And yet in this suffering called love,   
I willingly trusted in its cause.   
Silently hoping that in time you might forgive --   
That in time you might relent and bring down the wall.   
Silently hoping that you love me still,   
The foolish wishes of a person in love. /_

I take a deep breath and calm myself. It's not yet too late, I chided my mind. You are the one who built the wall that stood between you and him. You built the barrier that shielded your weakness from any mortal eye. You feared, and it isn't your fault. Fear is natural when you're unsure of yourself.

It would only become a fault if you know what it is, and decide to ignore its cause when you have both the chance and the power to conquer it.

I stood and entered the house we call as our base. I walked straight to your room, hoping against hope, acting out on impulse rather than my thoughts. I reached your door and raise my fist to knock, but I notice that it's slightly ajar. Quietly I stepped in ... and to my horror ... I saw you kissing the owner of the violet eyes. 

- End 


End file.
